The Diary Of Kuchiki Hisana
by LadiiAJ95
Summary: Rukia will do anything to find out more about her sister, when she finds her diary it takes her into all of Hisana's memories the good and the bad, but when I say takes her into I mean literally.
1. The Diary

**Hey guys!! This is my first fanfic I hope you like it : D oh and I am writing in Rukia's P.O.V kay, please review.**

I stared blankly at the ceiling in my room. Thoughts and feelings raced through my head fast as lighting as I let my body relax and my mind wander.

I was searching for somthing. It was somthing very important, somthing no one could ever live without and somthing no one could ever forget. I was searching for memories.

I closed my eyes tightly and breathed deeply letting my mind go as far back as possible. Letting myself take in all the details that came up and soak them in like a sponge in water.

It was right then, when my mind went back is when I saw her.

She really did look just like me. Her skin was pale and felt cold, her body was small and skinny. She was weak, she struggled to lift me and hold me. Her hair was just like mine, it was shiny and dark even though it was full of tangles. Her eyes, they were dinmed and full of sad emotions. Her lips were small and pink and were always forcing smiles.

She placed me down on the stone cold floor and whisperd somthing to me.

Then my eyes opend and I layed upright in my futon. _"thats all I ever remember"_ I thought to myself.

I have been trying to remember things about my sister for months now. Everytime I try to close my eyes and think about her that is all I get up to. I can never remember what exactly she whisperd to me.

After nii-sama told me about her on sokyoku I was obsessed with knowing more about her. I wanted to know everything, what she ate, what her hobbies were, how she acted etc. but I was always afraid to ask nii-sama about her, I didnt want to ask him questions about such a touchy subject but me trying to remember was not working.

"Rukia-san" A light voice called from outiside my door. "come in" I called back.

A woman with dark hair pulled into a ponytail and rosy cheeks enterd my room. "Miyako-san" I said as she enterd.  
lord Kuchiki has requested you for breakfast" she announced.

"alright, I will be right there" I responded. Miyako nodded and left the room.

"yes, this will be the perfect chance to ask nii-sama about my sister" I thought aloud while making my way to the dining hall.

I enterd the dining hall feeling confident as I sat right in front of nii-sama. It was just the two of us sitting silently as usual.

He motioned for the maids to start serving breakfast. The maids placed the food in front of us and we began to eat.

I must admit I was a little nervous to ask him somthing like this but I had to know somthing about her.

"nii-sama, may I ask you a question?" I asked. He rose a thin black eyebrow indicating for me to continue.

"could you tell me...how lady Hisana was?" I was a little scared that he might not answer. He looked deeply into his cup of tea like he was searching for somthing.

He finally spoke after a few minutes of silence "I do not know why you wish to know such a thing"

"well, she is my sister and I wish to know some things about her, I did not know her but from what you told me she spent a great deal searching for me so.. I paused looking into my tea cup trying to find the right words. "so, I feel that to repay her I want to know about her so that atleast I can mention her and tell people I had a sister"

He stared at me for a moment. His gray eyes penitrated through mine for a while until he closed them and sighed.

"very well Rukia" he answerd. He took a small sip of his tea and began "Hisana was very quiet. She hardly ever spoke to anyone, and when she did speak it was like a whisper" His eyes dinmed and his voice became softer.

"She was also very kind.....she never yelled and never got angry even at those who disrespected her" he continued. His eyes changed dramatically. They were soft and calm rather than hard and cold like they usually were.

I listend intently to every word making sure I took in everything he said about her.

"She also had a good sense of humor, she could make anyone laugh" his lips slightly curved making a small smile. That was somthing I had never seen before. I was glad she made him so happy.

Soon that smile dissapeard and his face turned from a look of slight happiness to a face of sorrow. His eyes went lower and he tightend his grip on his cup.

"She was also very weak, any physical activity took alot out of her; but she never complained" His voice was so soft and gentle, it was very odd to hear him like this.

"and her smile, she always smiled..it was one of the many beautiful things about her" as he continued to speak I could tell it was getting harder and harder for him to go on. He took longer pauses and looked even more deeply in his cup.

"She loved the outdoors, especially the garden. She liked to have picnics under her favorie cherry blossom tree"

I was so into what he was saying I didint notice how much pain he was in by telling me all of this.

"and..... he began but stoped. He ran his fingers through his hair and got up. "exscuse me" was the last words he said before leaving the room.

It took me a while to figure out what just happend. Until I realized how much pain he was enduring. It must have been hard for him to talk about her like that.

But I figured out so much, and I wanted to know more. "thank you nii-sama" I said softly while bowing. Then I quickly left the room.

I walked swiftly across the halls and turned a corner and bumped into Miyako.

"oh my gosh, I am so sorry Rukia-san" she said pulling me to my feet.

"no, no it is my fault" I responded whiping off my robes.

"have you seen lord Kuchiki? I was told to deliver these papers to him" Miyako asked picking up the papers she dropped.

I leaned down to help her pick up the scatterd documents. "you best not go now, he isnt.....in the best mood" I told her.

"oh, well i have to do some errands ummm" she said obviously not knowing what to do.

"I will give them to him" I said taking the papers from her hands.

"oh you will? thank you so much Kuchiki-san" she said smiling. "I will repay you" she called already running away.

_He probablly doesnt want to see anyone right now, so I will just slide them under the door _I thought.

I came to his room and knocked. "nii-sama" I said softly I really didnt want to disturb him, after all he was hurting right now.

There was no answer. So I decided to just leave the documents on his desk.

I enterd the room, it was dark and neat. I went to his desk and put them on it. Then somthing cought my eye.

It was hanging off his desk almost about to fall off. I quickly grabbed it about to put it back on his desk when the title stopped me.

It read "Kuchiki Hisana's Diary".


	2. The First Entry

**Hey guys, chapter 2 is up!! hope you like it :D (Oh and trust me I will be updating often, I hate it as much as you do when people sont update) please review.**

I just stared at it. It was old and beaten up but I didnt mind it. I decided to leave now, since I already put the papers on his desk.

As soon as I was about to leave I had second thoughts, I turned around and looked at the diary again, just sitting there...calling me.

"That diary probablly has some valuable information" I thought aloud. I walked slowly over to it again and quickly snatched it. It had a tinly gold clasp on it with a key hole.

I looked around and of course ,no key.

I decided that it wouldnt hurt to look for the key, in a room this neat it would be impossibe not to find anything right? wronge.

I looked through folders, papers, drawers, cabnets, files anything you could think of and no key.

I had too keep looking though, for some reason the diary seemed like it was calling me. I needed that key and fast, I could feel nii-sama's reiatsu coming.

_man where is this key?_ I thought to myself. Somtime on my wild rampage through the room I knocked over the trash can; and sure enough there it was. Underneath all of the crumpled papers was a small gold key.

I grabbed it quickly and ran out the door, not even bothering to pick up the trash or fix anything that I left out of order.

As I left nii-sama was coming around the corner. I smiled and waved to him, he had a puzzeld look on his face. I didnt even bother to come up with an exscuse because by the time he opend his mouth to question me I was already gone.

I ran as fast as I could to my room, on my way, the placing of the key intriuged me.

_I wonder why nii-sama threw the key out?_ I came to the conclusion that it was probablly too painful to read Hisana's memories. I hated seeing nii-sama in pain, which is why I still hated myself for putting him through that a while ago.

When I came to my room I locked the door and took some breaths.

It was early outside, which meant that I would have lots of time to read the diary.

I decided to make myself comfortable, I walked to my desk and sat down. I placed the diary directly in fron of me.

I examined the document, it was brown and plain, no decorations on it, it had creases and folds in it and its leather exterior lacked luster. There were pages sticking out as well. The only thing on the outside were the words "The Diary Of Kuchiki Hisana".

I decided to open it now, I put the key in the lock and heard a tiny click. The diary was now open.

The first page only had a tiny paragraph written, it was in black ink and horribly faded, plus her handwriting wasnt the best. It took me a while to dechiper the message written, but eventually I did and it read

_To whomever is reading this: Hello, my name is Hisana and this is my diary. This diary contains all of my memories and feelings about past events. It is a little more realistic that expected but I do hope it is to your liking, this diary is dedicated to a very special person, and I do hope this person gets a chance to read it, enjoy ~Hisana._

That was all that was written on the first page. The pages were old and starting to turn brown at the edegs but I didnt mind it.

_I wonder who she was talking about, who was this "special person?"_ I thought.

Coming back to my thoughts I deicded it was now time to read the first pages.

I turned the page and it was completely blank, except for the words at the very top that only said "first entry". There was no date and no words.

Mabey the ink is faded really badly I thought, I inched closer to it to try to make out some words, I touched the page and thats when it happend.

Just like that I knocked out. Everything was black.

I awoke, and I was in the shinigami academy_. "what is going on?" _I thought. Kids ran past me, chatting and gossiping while I stood in the middle of the hall dumbfounded.

"wasnt I in my room just a second ago? why am I here? whats going on? I said aloud, as kids still walked past me as if I wasnt there.

"exscuse me" I said to one girl but she just walked right by me. "hey!" I said to another but she continued talking to her firend.

"cant anybody hear me?"I said. "hey" I said to this girl this time grabbing her shoulder, but my hand went right through her.

She continued on her way like nothing happed, I looked at my hand, it was transparent_. "what is going on?" _I thought, where was I? and why couldnt anyone see me or hear me?

Further ahead I saw somone running, I thought I was looking in the mirror because that perosn looked just like me.

She ran right through me, again like I wasnt there. Then I noticed that the girl was Hisana.

I decided to follow her, whatever was going on I didnt care at that moment. I saw my sister.

I ran right through anyone in my way and followed right behind her.

She opend a classroom door and ran inside. I followed her into the classroom, it was filled with students talking and socilizing. Hisana sat next to a blond girl, I sat in a random chair in the middle of the class _no one can see me anyways I thought. _

I listened into her conversation.

"Goodmorning Matsumoto" she said softly. "hey Hisana, you were almost late!" Matsumoto said lazily.

"sorry" Hisana replied, "dont be sorry, be glad you were here on time" Matsumoto said.

"your right" Hisana said after.

nii-sama was right, her voice was so light and soft I had to strain my ears to hear it. It was almost like a whisper.

Matsumoto twirled a strand of strawberry blond hair in her fingers "jeez I really need to fix my split ends" she complained.

"you have a comb Hisana?" she asked. "no, I dont carry a comb" she replied. "why not" Matsumoto asked.

"because nothing can tame this wild forest on my head" Hisana said. "Ha ha ha ha" Matsumoto laughed.

"oh come on, your hair isnt that bad, I love it"She replied patting her head.

"Matsumoto stop it, your going to kill the animals in the forest" Hisana said playfully pushing Matsumoto's hand away.

"HA HA HA HA" Matsumoto laughed loudly.

That must be the sense of humor nii-sama told me about I thought. Even I giggled a little.

"enough about hair, did you here that leiutenant Kuchiki is coming to observe class today?" Matsumoto said slumping down in her chair.

"really" Hisana said not even the least bit interested.

"yeah, they say he is looking for possible candidates for the sixth divison" she answerd.

"Im sure you could get in Mastumoto, your really talented" Hisana smiled.

nii-sama was right again, her smile was amazing. It was soft and gentle just like everything else about her, it was also warm and inviting like she didnt just force the smile, like she really wanted to. It was genuine.

"yeah, but I could never work in the sixth divison, too much work"Matsumoto replied.

"Get to your places everyone, leiutenant Kuchiki has arrived" Th teacher announced.

nii-sama walked into the room, his scarf flowing behind him, but no haori. He wasnt a captain; yet.

Tons of girls just stared at him, swooning over him. _I knew my brother was handosome but this is just rediculous _I thought trying to look past the girls to get a glimpse of nii-sama.

Matsumoto lazily walked to her spot, while Hisana walked slowly to hers.

I just stayed in my seat and watched from afar.

They all stood in a line. "begin" The teacher said, and they all started saying incantaions, this was obviously a kidou class.

Most of the kidou was pretty good, nii-sama just walked down inspecting students. Some students tried to use kidou without an incantation just to impress him.

Hisana looked like she was having a tough time. She was already breathing heavily and starting to sweat, she only used one spell while others already shot off five.

nii-sama started walking down the line assisting those who needed help, which was a good amoount of people.

I could tell he was getting annoyed at anyone who couldnt do it properly after he alreday explained what to do.

He explained to one student how to do it seven times and that student still didnt get it.

He passed Matsumoto who obviously didnt need help, she was pretty good.

I knew what nii-sama was thinking, he wasnt thinking about what students to take, he was thinking about what students not to take. That was just how nii-sama worked, I have seen it enough to know.

Judging by his facial expression I could tell he found way more that he didnt want than did which clearly annoyed him.

I wonderd what he would think when he came to Hisana who was obviously the worst out of everyone.

By the time nii-sama arrived at her, she had only fired off two shots , others already at thirty. I bit my nails in anitcipation.

"Would you like my assistance?" he asked calmly.

"No thank you" Hisana said still breathing heavily her brow drenched in sweat.

"You are clearly having a tough time" He said still adgitated.

"I am sure, I wouldnt learn anything by asking you for help" she said inbetween breaths. "The best way to learn is from your own mistakes, then you can feel truly acomplished afterwards" Hisana said, her breathing getting lighter.

His eyes widend a bit "very well" was his response and he was already walking away.

I could tell that she caught his eye, not beacsue she didnt ask for his help, it was because she didnt want it. and her morals obviously impressed him.

Aftrer a few more minutes class was over and Hisana looked like she was about to faint.

"Hisana are you okay?" Matsumoto said running over to her.

"Im fine, Matsumoto" Hisana said gasping for air, she leaned against Mastumotos enourmous chest for support.

The two of them left class together, I was about to follow them but I heard a voice in my head. It was soft and very faint but I could still make it out.

_So on that day I met leiutenant Kuchiki, he seems to be a very cold person.....but that only means he is warm on the inside. I wonder if I will ever see him again; probablly not....oh well._

Those were the last words I heard before I blacked out again.

This time I awoke back on my desk. It was dark outside, that whole squence of events took the whole day.

I looked back at the diary and the whole page was filled with words. Everything that happend that day was written on the page and the date was there as well. Even the words I heard in my head before I blacked out was written all the way at the bottom.

I just stared at it. This was one weird diary.


	3. Cornered

**Chapter 3 is up! please review : D**

That morning I awoke on the hard desk that I fell asleep on. The diary was still there, calling me, waiting for me to open it up and experience the next chapter.

_what kind of diary is this? _I thought to myself. I picked up the book once more and began to flip through the pages. Sure enough every page was blank except for the page with the notation and the first entry.

I decided that I would confront nii-sama about the diary. I wouldnt necessarily tell him that it actually took you into her memories ,I really just wanted to know why he threw out the key, it really botherd me.

I walked down to nii-sama's room. It was pretty early, breakfast wasnt for another hour and barely any of the maids were out and about.

I stoped at his door. I moved my hand to knock but decided against it. It was pretty early and I didnt want him to get mad at me for disturbing him.

"Rukia you may enter" he said from behind the closed door.

looks like he decided for me. He probablly sensed my reiatsu.

I slid open the door and walked inside. He was sitting at his desk in his sleep wear. He didnt have his kenseikan in his hair so it flowed loosely in his face and onto his shoulders.

"take a seat Rukia" he told me gesturing to one of the chairs beside him.

I sat next to him, I sighed and decided that I should tell him about the diary.

"well, nii-sama I- I was cut off by his words "I know you took the diary, you left my office in a unkept manor" he said cooly.

"I apologize nii-sama" I said nervously. So he knew I took the diary, he didint seem angry he actually seemed pretty confused.

"nii-sama, why did you throw out the key?" I questioned.

"because the diary was empty" he almost immidietly responded.

"empty?" I asked pretending to be surprised.

"correct, it had no words, no dates, nothing except a small notation" he replied.

"mabey it was faded" I suggested.

"I already had some of the best people check it out.....they said that there was absoulutely no ink on the paper, the book had never been written in" he said running his fingers through his hair.

"so you threw the key out...but not the book?" I asked. It was kind of weird not to get rid of the whole thing.

"because somthing tells me...there is more to that book. She wouldnt just start a diary, write the names of the entries and no words" He sounded very confused, he pulled his eyebrows together and made a crease in his forehead.

"Rukia I need you to honestly answer me.......did you see any words?" he asked.

His eyes were searching my face for any type of signal of my answer. Should I tell him? I didnt know if I should or shouldnt.

"n-no it is completely blank" I lied. I didnt know why I didnt tell him, somthing in me said that he shouldnt know about the diaries contents.

He studided my face for a little while then sighed. "very well Rukia, now if you exscuse me I must be getting ready for the day" he said leaving his seat.

I left the room and ponderd about somthing. _why would she make the words unseen? _I thought. _Didnt he touch the pages? he should have gone through the sequence. _I walked outside into the Kuchiki gardens. I sat under a tree and took a breath of fresh air.

_why would she make the words unseen to her own husband? wasnt the diary intended for him? _I kept thinking about it over and over in my head but I came up with no conclusions.

"Mabey if I experience the next entry it will shed some light on the situation" I thought aloud.

I pulled the diary from my robes and looked around. No one was in sight, just me and the koi splashing around in the pond next to me.

I took another deep breath and opend the diary. I turned to the page after the first entry, it was titled "second entry" I touched the page and then blacked out.

I awoke and I was inside of Hisana's room. It was early in the morning, she was brushing her hair while putting on her shoe.

Her room was pretty empty. There was nothing in it except a small desk and dresser. Since she was from Rukongai I would expect her not to have much.

Actually, her room reminded me of my room when I was in the shinigami academy.

When she was finished brushing her hair she left the room and I followed right behind her. It was a little early so classes werent going to start soon. I wonderd where she was going.

She tip-toed down the halls of the building and through the gates of the academy.

_why is she leaving the academy? _I thought to myself still following her. She was completely silent on her walk, she didnt say or do anything but walk as I followed.

We walked, and walked and walked until the places she was walking into looked too firmiliar.

_why in the world is she going to rukongai? _I thought to myself.

Soon enough you could start seeing the poverty. People started to show up, wearing torn up clothes and begging for food. The streets becam crowded as Hisana and I moved through the people.

She just kept walking and walking and muttering somthing to herself. Soon we were on the outskirts and she stoped in front of a alley way.

I really wanted to leave this place, it brought back too many painful memories of my journeys in Rukongai.

She walked into the alleyway and went into her robes. She took out a hand sized teddy bear and placed it on the ground.

she kneeled down to it and began to speak. "Rukia......this is the place where I abandoned you" she spoke softly.

I gasped, _this is the place? _I looked around, the stone cold floor, it was dirty and cold and lonely.

"I am so, so sorry Rukia.....please forgive me" she started to cry tears streamed down her cheeks and dripped onto the teddy bear.

"I am selfish....and cruel....I am a horrible sister....Rukia I am so sorry" she sobbed. Her voice cracked and she stutterd like she was freezing cold.

She wrapped her arms around herself and let her hair fall into her face. She leaned down to the bear and continued to cry.

"why....why....why am I so cruel to you Rukia? she continued she was now shaking.

"I h-hope...t-t-th-that you are okay....I wish for the best but....I fear for the worst....you deserve so much more" she was now gripping her self even harder.

"R-Rukia please...please... " her cries muffled her last words.

I could feel the tears begin to form in my own eyes. She was completely torn up over.....me.

Did I really cause my sister this much pain? was I really the cause of it?

I wanted to say to her that I was okay, I wanted to tell her to stop crying, but she wouldnt hear me.

"Hisana" I walked twards her, I tried to put my arms around her but they just went through her.

I began to cry as well. It shocked me how much pain I put her through, it made me realize how much she cared for me.

"Hisana...its ok" I whisperd. Even though she couldnt hear me I felt like I had to tell her somthing.

"hey, whatcha doin' hur" I heard a voice from behind me. I turned around and saw two shady looking men.

Hisana got up and whiped her tears. "i-i ummm" she began.

"eh?? speak up" the man said moving closer.

"stay away" I said trying to push him but as usual, I went right through him.

They cornerd Hisana, "p-please leave me alone" Hisana said in a soft tone.

"heh heh heh, I know wat ill make ya scream fo sure" the man said, the other one just laughed.

They came closer to her with a menacing look in there eyes.

I couldnt do anything, I was completely useless, all I could do is watch.

Hisana would have to pull through.....some way.


	4. All My Fault

**Sorry I havent updated in such a long time, its just that I had some serious writers block for this story. Thank you all for reviewing and reading : D**

The men cornerd Hisana, she was trapped there was no way for her to get out and no way for me to help her. I could feel my stomach grow tight as the men surrounded her, my heart beat at a amazinf pace in anticipation.

The first man grabbed Hisana's colar and lifted her up, her feet dangled in the air as the man punched her right in her stomach. His fist dug deep into her stomach even turning a little to amplify the pain.

Hisana let out a sharp gasp and began to clutch her stomach. "let go of me" Hisana said struggling against the mans grip. Hisana moved her hands twards the mans hands to try to untangle them from her body but the pain in her stomach stopped her.

"Ehh? what ya say? I cant hear ya" the man slurred and punched her again in the stomach. The man let go of Hisana's colar and she fell hard on the cold floor. She fell so limp and motionless I thought that may have killed her.

I watched in horror as Hisana was getting beaten. She tried to get up but the second man kicked her right in her face, I could see her eyes roll up as she hit the floor with a loud thud. The kick was awfully hard and I could see right there that Hisana wasnt strong enough to take them on.

"Hisana!" I yelled, but it was completely useless. All I could do is watch them beat her senselessly, the punched and kicked until blood was dripping from her nose and mouth. Her eyes dinmed and she let out small painful gasps as the beating continued.

Even after all of that she still didint fall unconcious, she still got back up. Even when the man punched her directly in her eye she still didint sway, even when the man punched her twice in the same spot her spirit didint shatter.

Hisana got right back up, one of her eyes were closed and swollen. She began to breathe heavily and she spoke once more "please, leave me be" she whispered.

"Ehhhh, shes no fun, she wont even kock out" one man spat while the other replied "yeah, lets go find some otha chick ta beat".

With that the men began to leave. I felt my heart lift, she was going to be okay. I could even feel the tears in my eyes begin to dissapear. I was so relived that that horrific scene was now over.

Hisana whiped the blood from her mouth and slumped down onto the floor next to the teddy bear.

She breathed slowly and softly, her nose continued to bleed and run onto her lips, her swollen eye began to swell even more and bruises trailed along the side of her face but she just sat still.

She closed her other eye and just sat completely still, she breathed in and out so lightly you couldnt tell she was breathing.

I walked closer to her and sat down next to her. "Hisana, do I really cause you this much trouble?" I asked her knowing I wouldnt get a response. I didint realize that when she went to look for me things like this would happen. "Do you really go through all of this just to find me?" I whispered to her.

I placed my hand ontop of hers. I placed it lightly on top so it wouldnt phase through her hand. Even though I knew she couldnt feel my presence I just felt like I needed to be there for her, to comfort her in some way to let her know that I was okay.

We sat there for a very long time. The blood eventually dried on her face, and her breathing steadied a little more. Her eye was still swollen and the bruises seemed to look even worse by the way she was laying there. Soon she eventually fell asleep.

"Hisana, why didint you fight them?" I asked her softly, she had gone to the shinigami academy so she must have been more than able to fight them. I wanted to know what was going on in her head, why she made it seem like she couldnt do anything.

Soon I heard the faint voice in my head again.

_That day was very scary, not for me of course....but for me knowing there were people out there that might actually do the same thing to Rukia. That is the reason I did not fight back, I wanted to feel what Rukia might've felt, I wanted her to know that her sister was going through the same thing....that she wasnt alone._

Then everything went black.

------

I awoke and I was still under the tree, I got up and noticed it was dark outside. The only things that ran through my head were the words that she said at the end of the entry.

I placed the diary carefully in my robes and began to walk twards the manor.

There were lots of things that I needed to know, and lots of things that the diary could tell me....but I didint want to know any of them anymore.

The manor was very quiet , no one was around, it was like everyone was dead. I came to the great room of the Kuchiki manor.

Of course it was big and had tons of tabels and books in a circular pattern. In the middle ,the focal point was a huge fire place, embers shot out from the warm crackleing fire as I approached it.

I knew that what I was about to do, in some peoples eyes it would be very foolish. But in my eyes it was deffinetly the right thing to do.

I was going to burn the diary, to get rid of it for good to make sure every page turned to ashes.

She said she wanted to feel the pain I may have gone through, to let me know I wasnt alone. I wanted to scream at her, I wanted to slam it into her head that I felt no pain, that no one hurt me so she didint need to do that. But she wouldnt hear anything, she would just continue to go through that over and over until she had no more blood left in her body.

I didint want to see any of that, I didint want her to hurt herself to feel the pain that never once crossed me. I didint want to have anything to do with that diary.

I didint want to read anymore about how Hisana got hurt because of me. Hisana went through all that trouble just to find me and she even gor hurt because of it; I couldnt bear to read anymore of that.

I already knew how the diary was going to end, Hisana was going to die and it would be my fault. She spent all of her time looking for me and wound up getting sick because of it.

I was the reason nii-sama doesnt have a wife anymore, I was the reason Hisana had enoured so much pain, I was the reason the diary wouldnt have a happy ending.

She spent so much time looking for a sister who was fine, that nothing happened to that lived not knowing she had a sister who was spending night and day, wasting all her energy searching for me.

The more I read, the more I bet it will tell about her journeys going back and fourth to Rukongai and how much she had gone through....I cant read somthing like that, knowing im the reason it all happened, knowing that I will witness it all and not be able to do a single thing about it.

It would be better if I just got rid of all of those hurtful memories, all those memories that would haunt me.

I still didint understand why nii-sama couldnt read it, I know I am being unfair by burning it and not returning it to nii-sama. But giving him the diary will only cause him greif, greif of not knowing what his beloved throught of him or of what she had throught before her death, all he would get is a bunch of empty pages and a bunch of painful memories.

The diary had to go, even if I only read two entires I knew it would be too hard to read.

Now I didint even know if I still wanted to know more. I would probablly hear more about her sickness and how her endless search for me drove on for years and she always came up short.

Hisana even used precious time that she could have spent with nii-sama on finding me.

I should have never opened that diary, I should have just left the room when I saw it. Now I have to live with knowing that I was the main cause of her death and nii-sama's greif.

I slowly pulled the diary out from my robes, I looked at the old diary and ran my fingers across the cover of it.

"Hisana, please forgive me" I said moving towrads the fire place. I kneeled down to its level and felt the warm air caress my face.

I held the book to my chest and sighed deeply. I could feel my heat beating even faster as I began to untangle my fingers from the book over the fireplace.

Then just like that I dropped it, the diary full of feelings, emotions, secrets and memories was now burning in the red flames in front of my eyes.

**WOW, that is really suspenseful isnt it!! Oh and the story isnt over, trust me. : D**


	5. More Questions

**Heres the next chapter hope you like it : D**

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I watched as the flames engulfed the diary burning every inch of the old brown cover and the old pages. Soon I realized that the diary wasnt burning.

I stared at the diary just sitting in the flames perfectly intact, no marks no tears no nothing. The diary was just the same as when I threw it inside of the fire.

_'what in the world is going on' _I thought as I watched the diary that was suppose to be burning just sit in the fire like nothing was going on.

I grabbed the sitck used to stoke the fire and poked at the diary. It felt the same, nothing was diffrent about it. I used the stick to move the diary out of the fire and onto the floor.

I carefully bent down and touched it. It wasnt even hot or warm, it was the same tempature it always was and everything about it was the same.

_'what is going on?, why wasnt it burning?' _I thought to myself again as I flipped through the pages of the book to find lost of blank pages and only two pages filled with words, which were the two pages that I had gone into.

I closed the diary and decided that it might be a good idea to ask nii-sama about what in the world was going on with the diary. But still he would notice the two filled pages and wonder how that happened so asking nii-sama wasnt an option any more.

Was Hisana trying to tell me somthing? was she trying to tell me that she wouldnt let me get rid of the diary until I experienced all of its entries? or was she telling me that no matter how hard I tried to get rid of it the diary and its contents were always going to be there and there was nothing I could do about it.

Sighing I placed the diary into my robes and headed to my room.

On my way to my room I saw Miyako struggleing to lift up a stack of paperwork. I wasnt in rhe best mood at the moment but I decided that I should help her.

I walked over to her and took half of the stack in my hands. The papers were all old and wrinkled and had horribly faded writting on it.

"Oh, why thank you Rukia-san" Miyako said with a bright smile.

"What are these papers for?" I asked examining the documents.

"Oh, well you see lord Kuchiki is cleaning out lady Kuchiki's room and I have to bring these documents to get restored" Miyako explained.

"Why is he cleaning out the room?" I asked while we both walked down the halls of the manor.

"Im not sure" Miyako answered pondering this in her own head.

I knew that I would be able to find some vauluable information if I actually visited her room. There could be some clue as to what this whole diary was all about.

"Exscuse me Miyako but I need to know which direction lady Kuchiki's room is in" I asked as we came to our destination.

"It is far to the east, im sure you would sense lord Kuchiki's reiatsu when you arrive" Miyako stated while bringing the documents into the room.

She took the documents from my hands and then smiled and bowed with a "Thank you Rukia-san".

"No probelm" I called while running towards the east to find my sisters room.

I probablly got lost a couple of times, I took many turns and twists and I couldnt sense nii-sama's reiatsu anyware. The manor was really too big for its own good.

I was gasping for air by the time I spotted nii-sama in a doorway with a couple of maids going in and out of the room with various items.

"Nii-sama!" I called while running to the doorway. I started to catch my breath as my eyes slowly watched each of the maids bring out a item.

"Rukia, what is it that brings you here?" Byakuya questioned.

"I just wanted to see her room" I said inbetween breaths.

"Catch your breath before you speak" he responded while tilting his head towards the door before entering the room himself.

"My apologies nii-sama" I replied while following him into the room. It was indeed very dusty and maids were everyware cleaning and spraying and dusting.

The room was very big, it had a vanity and a huge amoir that maids brought tons of beautiful kimonos out of to wash them. A big futon was beging stripped of its old sheets and given new ones and the desk in the back of the room wasnt being touched.

I decided that the desk would be my best bet to figure out any information.

"Nii-sama, may I have premission to help clean the room" I asked. I really hoped that he would say yes and not dismiss me, I really needed to check that desk.

He examined my face with his cold gray eyes, I didint know what he was thinking but whatever it was it must've been good for him to give me the response "Verry well Rukia".

I couldnt help but smile a bit as I replied "Thank you nii-sama" then walked quickly over to the desk in the back.

The desk was small and only had a one tiny drawer and that was it. I decided to open the drawer but it was locked, and of course there was no key.

_'I wonder if the diary key would work' _I thought to myself as I went into my robes to find the diary and came up short.

_'what? where is it?' _I thought as I began to search everyware _'dont tell me I lost the diary!' _I began to search even more frantically, I must have looked pretty odd looking through my robes like that but I didint mind it, all I wanted was to find the diary.

How could I lose somthing like that? It was far to big for it to drop out without me noticing and I knew that I put it into my robes when I was leaving the fire place. I sighed and looked around the room and spoted the diary laying in the middle of the floor.

_'It must've fallen out when I bowed' _ I thought to myself as I felt my heart lift knowing now that it wasnt lost. Then I felt my heart drop when I saw nii-sama eye the book and walk over to it.

_'No, no he cant look through it!' _I thought as I began to walk quickly over to it. Nii-sama was alot closer to the book than I was, he was about to bend down and pick it up when one of the maids called him and he turned and adressed her.

_'whew, so close' _was my next thought as I felt my heart lift again then drop again when I saw Miyako pick up the diary and stuff it into a box and leave the room.

_'Why now!?'_ I thought as I walked quickly out of the room to call for Miyako when I saw her no where in sight. "Where could she have gone?" I thought aloud as I began walking down the hall.

"Miyako!, Miyako!" I called as I made a turn and saw her just standing in the middle of the hall. The box was dropped and her back was to me, it seemed like she was looking at somthing.

I ran up to her and said "Miyako, there you are I was- but I stoped talking when I saw that she was looking at the diary.

"Where did you get this?" Miyako asked her voice sweet as sugar.

"Well, I found it" I answered as I studied her face. It had a curious expression on it as she began to flip through the book.

"Lady Kuchiki wrote it" she stated while closing it and looking me in the eyes.

"Yeah, I know" I replied now leaning out my hand as a indication for her to hand the diary to me.

"I was there when she wrote it" Miyako said softly as my hand dropped to my side.

"You....were there?" I questioned.

"Yes, I was lady Kuchiki's personal maid......she told me everything" Miyako said as her voice cracked a little. She held the diary firmly in her hands and lowerd her head.

"You look just like her" Miyako whispered.

I smiled a little then asked "What do you know about the diary?".

"More than anyone knows, and if you want to know more follow me" Miyako said walking quckly down the hallway.

"The things I will tell you about the diary may change your world forever, be prepared" Miyako explained as I hurried to catch up with her.

I never in my life would have imagined that Miyako would know somthing about the diary. Whatever she was about to tell me, I had to make sure I was ready for it.

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**This chapter was pretty short, but I didint want to give away too much yet. : D**


	6. New Answers

**Sorry for the long absence, school has occupied all of my time T-T. I hope I can get the chapters out alot quicker now that we have a three day weekend so wish me luck! Thank you for all of the wonderful reviews and I hope you continue reading : D**

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I followed Miyako down the hallway trying to fix my pace with hers. She was walking awfully fast, and the diary was glued to her hand, she was holding it so tightly I could see her hands turn white.

"Miyako where are we going?" I asked, now I was walking just as quickly as she was.

"To my room" she replied keeping her vision directed towards the end of the hall.

We soon reached Miyako's room at the end of the hall. She quickly opened the door and lead me inside of the small yet neat room.

"We have to hurry, I still have work to do" Miyko explained while ploping herself on one of the two beds that were stationed in the center of the room.

I climbed onto the bed next to her and took a deep breath. She seemed very serious about the diary a while ago and she did say it would change my world forever, so I needed to make sure I was prepared.

Miayko placed the diary on her lap and began to run her fingers over the old binding and then rested them on the tiny keyhole that held it all.

"Where to start?" Miyako pondered as she turned her gaze from the diary to me.

"You have entered the diary right?" Miyako asked me shifitng her weight on the bed so that she sat cross legged.

"Yes I have" I responded.

"You do realize that you cannot interact with anyone or do anything while you experience the entries right?" Miyako questioned, her gaze was still fixed on mine.

I shifted my weight so that my legs dangeled from the side of the bed and replied "Yeah, I know".

"Well, thats not all entirely true" Miyako explained, she picked up the diary once more and held it infront of her chest.

"What do you mean?" I asked, this whole situation was getting deeper and deeper by the minute.

"I mean......You have the power to change the events inside of this diary" Miayko explained patting the diary with her hand.

"I dont get it, what do you mean?" I asked, I could feel my heart beat faster everytime she revealed somthing new to me about the diary.

"Hmmm how do I explain this.......Oh I got it" Miyako began.

"Well, you see if you cross out any of the words in the diary it will dissapear, and if you write anything different then that will become reality" Miyako continued.

"Wait, so your saying if I cross out and re-write anything in the diary.........what I write.....will happen?" I asked my voice was shaking as I spoke.

"That is exactly what I am saying" Miyako replied.

"You have the ability to change the course of her life" Miyako explained.

I couldnt belive what I was hearing. I could change my sisters life by writing in her diary?

"Of course there are rules and certain things that you should know" Miyako added noticing my anxious and confused expression.

"Like what?" I asked, cautiously not wanting yet still yearning to know more.

"For one you must know that anything you change is going to have an affect on present day somehow or someway, if you change the past there will be a new future" Miyako explained.

"I am not going to tell you what to change and what not to change, but I do warn you before you change anything you must think about how it will affect present day" Miayko continued.

I nodded as she handed me the diary and I held it firmly in my hands.

"How do you know so much about the diary?" I asked turning my vision to the diary that rested in my hands.

"Well like I said, I was there when she wrote it......im not sure why she wrote it or what she was planning but all I know is what she told me" Miyako said getting off of the bed.

She opened the door and began to walk out while I followed.

"Well, I must take my leave, I have lots of work to do.......remember to think about how it will affect the future okay" Miayko reminded me.

I nodded and watched her smile at me then walk quickly down the hall and out of my sight.

I ran back to my room and locked the door. I sat at my desk and placed the diary on my desk and examined it carefully.

There was so much I could change and so much I wanted to change. I could rewrite my sisters whole life, I could do so much, there was so much possibility of what could be different.

I could make it so that Hisana never got sick and never died, I could make it so that nii-sama still had his wife hand had no greif or pain, I could make it so that I would have my sister back and that everything would be happy and okay.

The only problem was that I wasnt sure how this would affect the future. Would anything bad come from me making Hisana live? was she always meant to die? Miyako kept telling me to think about how it would change the future but I wasnt so sure that her not dieing was a bad thing.

Before I could change anything I would have to experience more of her entries to get a good feel of what needed to be changed. I opened the diary and stared at the next blank page.

More quesion still lingered on in my head. Why did Hisana write the diary? why did she make it so that only I could see or experience the entries? and why would she make is so that I could change the events in her life?

Sighing I decided that all of those questions would be answered one I began to continue seeing the entries.

I knew that I would make it so that Hisana never died, that would be my first priority. Nothing bad would come from that.....atleast I hoped not.

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**Sorry that chapter was so short......but I assure you it gets better, the short chapter was because I didint want to reveal too much just yet. Hope you liked it : D**


	7. The First Change

**Hey guys sorry this took so long I had computer problems but its all good now so I hope you like this new chapter :D**

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I ran my fingers over the binding of the diary. Just a while ago I hated this diary, I wanted nothing to do with it, I didn't want to see Hisana suffer just because she worried about me it was all too much to bear.

Now it would be different. There were millions of possibilities of how I could re-write my sisters whole life and make it the way that it should be.

Of course it wouldn't be a walk in the park though. I couldn't abuse my new found power, I had to make sure whatever I changed absolutely needed to be changed I couldn't just change anything because I thought that I should.

Besides, Miyako stressed on the fact that I needed to make sure that I thought of how the changes might affect the future.

I slowly opened the diary to the next entry. I knew there had to be something that I could change in this chapter as a test to see what exactly would happen.

I gently touched the paper and as usual everything went black.

* * *

I awoke and I was inside of the classroom in the shinigami academy. I looked around hoping to see Hisana some ware.

Last time I left off she was badly injured and I wanted to know if she was okay.

I spotted her all the way in the far corner of the classroom sitting next to the same busty blonde girl whose name I believe to be Matsumoto.

I walked quickly over to where they were to listen in to the conversation.

"Jeez Hisana what happened to you?" Matsumoto asked examining her multiple bandaged wounds.

"Oh nothing….I just fell" Hisana responded quietly.

I looked at all of the bandages she had. They were definitely the wounds that she had gotten on that horrible day, they were treated and seemed to be doing well.

"Are you sure? Those don't look like wounds you can get by falling" Matsumoto pressed.

"I am absolutely sure, please ,don't worry about me" Hisana reassured her with a small smile.

"Alright, alright" Matsumoto gave in and began twirling her hair in her fingers.

"So do you want to come drinking with me and some friends today?" Matsumoto asked.

"Oh I cant I have to stay to practice my kidou" Hisana almost immediately responded.

"Are you sure? You never hang out!" Matsumoto wined.

"I need a girlfriend to come with me!!" she wined some more.

"I'm sorry I cant…..besides I don't think I would be much fun to bring" Hisana admitted.

"Of course you would be, your funny and plenty cute and you have some cute boobs too!" Matsumoto said while going behind her and taking hold of Hisana's chest in her hands.

"M-Mastumoto!" Hisana blushed as she pulled out of her grasp.

"So are you coming?" Matsumoto asked again this time more excited.

"Sorry I cannot" Hisana replied softly.

Matsumoto sighed long and dramatically and nodded her head to take what Hisana said.

The rest of the class went by pretty smoothly. Hisana tried and tried to master her kidou but she got exhausted too quickly and was unable to perform anything.

After the class was finished and everyone left for the day and Matsumoto begged Hisana to come but once again she was turned down. Hisana stayed after to practice like she said she would.

I watched her intently as she tried and tried but came up unsuccessful.

I wished I could help her, I wished that I could show her a different way to master that ability but I knew I couldn't.

Hisana said incantation after incantation but nothing worked. She began to breathe heavily and sweat began to form on her skin she was over working herself and I could see it in her eyes.

She began to pant and gasp for air but still continued to try to master at least one thing.

It must have been hours I sat watching her train. I could see disappointment and sorrow begin to express itself on her expressions.

Even though she wasn't making any progress she still continued even until her wounds started to re-open and blood began to show though the bandages.

'_What is she doing? She is overworking herself!' _I thought to myself as she continued to train while blood continued to seep though the bandages.

"Hisana stop" I said aloud knowing she couldn't hear me.

In about another half hour she finally gave up. Her wounds looked horrible and she looked exhausted and heart broken.

She began to walk out of the classroom leaning on the wall for support.

"Why cant I do it!?" Hisana shouted while slamming the wall with her fist.

"If I cant master a single kidou then what am I doing here!?" she yelled again as tears began to form in her eyes.

They trickled down her face and stained her cheeks as she continued to pound the wall with her fist.

She was crying deeply. Her sobs couldn't be heard because everyone had already left the building.

I wanted so much to comfort her to tell her it was alright but I already knew it would make no difference.

Even so I still moved towards her and placed a hand on her shoulder, lightly so it wouldn't fall through.

She then continued to move across the wall and still began to huff and puff for air, even a few coughs left her mouth.

She came to the staircase and slowly began to wobble down the stairs until in that split second her eyes closed and her body went limp as she collapsed and her body was about to fall down all the stairs.

"Hisana!" I yelled as I rushed towards her and tried to grab her but my hands just phased though her while another pair of hands caught her.

"N-Nii-sama" I said softly. My heart relaxed knowing she was in safe care now.

He had a confused and puzzled expression on his face. He was just coming up the stairs and sees a girl collapse right into him, I would be confused as well.

He held her gently, like she was a baby and needed special care. He immediately noticed her open wounds and her small and shallow breaths and turned around to head back down the stairs towards the infirmary.

I ran to catch up to him because even back then Nii-sama's pace was inhumanly fast.

When he entered the infirmary he handed her over to one of the nurses and she took her over to be treated.

Just like that Nii-sama was gone like the wind and I stayed behind to see if Hisana was okay.

In a few hours she was finished and layed in the bed like she was a corpse.

She was breathing regularly now and her wounds were all sewn up and secure.

She slept for a very long time until the sun was setting outside.

Matsumoto came to visit her even though she was pretty drunk when she did.

After Matsumoto left, Hisana finally woke up.

She mumbled something under her breath and sighed while looking around the room.

I wished she could see me, sometimes she would be staring right at me but wouldn't see a thing.

Soon after that Nii-sama came back into the room which was really surprising.

"L-Lieutenant Kuchiki what brings you here?" Hisana stuttered.

"I only found it fit that I should see how you were recovering since I brought you here" Byakuya stated in his ice cold tone as usual.

"I thank you for bringing me here lieutenant" Hisana replied softly.

He simply nodded and began to look through her medical papers.

"It seems as though you collapsed due to rapid depletion of reiatsu correct?" he asked.

"Y-Yes" Hisana stuttered again. She was probably intimidated by him and I couldn't blame her, he was a cold person.

"I can therefore assume that you were the one who was training after hours?" he interrogated.

"Yes…I am sorry" Hisana said in a whisper of a tone.

It was silent for a while neither of them talking or even making eye contact.

"Would you like it if I personally trained you in using kidou?" he finally asked breaking the long silence.

"Really!?" Hisana's eyes lit up with excitement. I was pretty surprised myself when he said that.

"I would love that……but why are you giving your time to help me?" Hisana questioned.

"It is simply because when I observed your training the other day I noticed that you were far beneath all the others" Byakuya stated in his icy tone.

"Oh" Hisana said sort of disappointed.

"I also observed that you have something the others don't" he added.

"You have a strong resolve to grow stronger and for that I will personally train you" Byakuya said in a nonchalant tone.

"Thank you so much lieutenant Kuchiki" Hisana smiled a brilliant smile.

"We will begin when your wounds are healed, I will give you the details later" and with that he left the room.

Hisana continued to smile excitedly and mumbled something else under her breath.

Then I heard the voice in my head once again.

'_I overworked myself that day……But I was very grateful I did for if I didn't then I would have never had that encounter with lieutenant Kuchiki'_

Then everything turned black.

* * *

I awoke to see it was dark outside. Sighing I went over the events of that last entry in my head and contemplated what I should have changed.

I decided to change something small just do I could see what would happen.

Carefully I took up my pen and scanned the page to see what exactly to change.

I decided I would change something Hisana said to Matsumoto. Instead of saying 'Sorry I cannot' to Matsumoto when she turned her down I decided to make her say 'I would love to go with you but not today, how about some other time'.

With that thought in my head I slowly crossed out the line that was written and began to write over it, my new line of dialogue.

Sure enough the words she originally said faded away and the words I wrote set in like there was no difference.

I exhaled deeply when I was finished and examined my work.

'_That wasn't too hard' _I thought as I went to the next page.

'_Next time I will change something bigger'_ I continued to think.

I knew that there would be tons more for me to change and right now I knew that they were going to be big.

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**Hope you guys liked that chapter, the next one should be up soon kay :D.**


	8. Consequences

**Alright heres the next chapter hope you guys like it! Thank you all for the wonderful reviews I appreciate it sooooo much!**

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The next day I was determined to spend as much time as possible re-writing my sisters life.

Though I kept Miyako's words alive in my head I didn't really know how changing someone's words would affect the future in any big way.

I couldn't wait until I could make Hisana alive again. She would finally be able to spend the rest of her life with nii-sama and I would finally get to know my sister.

I put the diary under my pillow and decided to head to breakfast. Even though breakfast with nii-sama was rather tense and awkward I knew it wouldn't be that way once he had his wife by his side again.

I quickly walked to the dinning room and took my place at the table. He of course was silently sipping his tea and waiting for his food to arrive.

"Good morning Nii-sama" I said respectfully while slightly bowing my head. He nodded to me and we sat in silence until the food showed up.

I sighed just wanting to get back to the diary. I couldn't help but smile knowing that my brother would soon actually be happy and maybe open up more once Hisana was near him.

It would be the best gift he had ever gotten. Still I wondered if that would be the right thing to do, I was sure he would be happy with it but what if Hisana died for a reason?

I couldn't think of any good reason for her to die though, the only thing that did was give grief and leave a husband without his wife and a girl without her sister.

I ate quickly, literally stuffing my face with food hoping to hurry and finish. I didn't want to really admit it but I did like seeing my brother in the diary acting a way I have never seen him.

Still he acted pretty much the same but there was something different about him, I couldn't put my finger on it but there was something about him that I had never seen before….a certain kindness just radiating from him.

"Rukia, take your time to eat" he said in his same cold, nonchalant tone.

"Sorry Nii-sama" I quickly responded while drinking some tea to wash down the rest of my food.

"Nii-sama….may I ask you something?" I hesitated for a second before asking. I didn't know why I was really asking this, I guess I just needed some reassurance that I was going to do the right thing…..that the future would be affected in a positive way.

He nodded as usual indicating for me to continue. I took a long deep breath inwardly and moved a little in my seat trying to get the nervousness out of my system.

I really wanted his answer to be the one I hoped it would be.

"Excuse me for bringing up this topic but….would you be happy if Hisana was still here?" I asked cautiously.

I obviously knew that he would be happy but I just needed to make sure, so that nothing would backfire in my plans.

He raised a brow at this, probably confused at why I was asking this. He stayed silent for a moment then he answered me.

"Rukia why are you asking such a thing?" he replied focusing those icy gray eyes on me.

"I just wanted to know" I responded gazing back at those gray eyes with my own.

"I would be more than happy" he said coolly. I nodded now knowing that I was doing the right thing.

"May I be excused?" I requested after stuffing a few more bites of food back into my mouth making my plate spotless.

He nodded once again and I bowed slightly to him and practically ran out the room.

* * *

I went under my pillow and pulled out the diary. I flipped open to the next page that I was going to read next and quickly touched it.

As usual after that, everything turned black.

* * *

I awoke and I was in Hisana's room, it looked kind of messy with clothes all over the place.

"I'm sorry Matusmoto but I can't go today" I heard Hisana say while exiting the bathroom with her shinigami academy robes on.

"Oh come-on Hisana! You said some other time!!" Matsumoto wined while exiting the bathroom behind Hisana.

Hisana seemed so be doing better. Her wounds were all healed and she was moving normally now.

'_That's good'_ I thought to myself while watching what was going on.

"I know but I have to train today, I'm getting personal lessons" Hisana said trying to head for the door.

Matsumoto grabbed her arm and continued to complain "Yeah but you didn't go last time and you said some other time and now I want you come with me".

"But what if I miss training" Hisana replied still moving in the opposite direction trying to head to the door.

"You have a few hours before you have to train! Just come drinking with me for an hour then you can leave" Matsumoto wined even louder.

"I don't know, I don't drink" Hisana said still struggling to get out of Matsumoto's grasp.

I found it quite amusing as they continued to complain. I soon realized that all of this was happening because of what I changed.

I was the one that made Hisana say 'maybe some other time'. I now saw how changing something could effect other things.

It didn't seem bad at all, if anything Hisana would gain from this, she would probably get some new friends from hanging out with Matsumoto.

"Just take a sip and that's all, please!!" Matsumoto pouted.

"Alright, you win Matsumoto but I cant stay forever okay" Hisana said as she stopped moving for the door and Matsumoto let go of her arm.

"Yay!" she cheered as she began to pick through all of the clothes Hisana had lying on the floor.

"Matsumoto aren't we going?" Hisana asked helping her pick up the clothes that Matsumoto obviously had tossed across the room for some reason.

"Hisana you can't go dressed like that! You need an outfit!" Matsumoto said picking through the clothes. Ah, there was the reason, Hisana needed an outfit.

"Well I'm sure I have something here" Hisana said holding up a plain yellow sun dress.

I smiled a little when she held that up. I definitely loved sun dresses and apparently so did Hisana.

"No, you can't wear that! You need something that shows some cleavage!" Matsumoto said lifting up another shirt and examining it.

I felt myself anger at this '_There is nothing wrong with sundresses' _I thought to myself.

"M-Matsumoto I don't want to wear something like that" Hisana blushed.

"Oh come on Hisana you have a great body, I mean even though you are kind of small you still have some cute boobs" Matsumoto laughed.

"Matsumoto!" Hisana said still blushing as she began to pick up all of the clothes.

"Jeez Hisana we need to go shopping! You don't have anything sexy" Matsumoto complained.

"Can I just wear the sun dress?" Hisana asked while collapsing on her bed.

"Alright fine, but only because you have nothing else" Matsumoto gave in.

Hisana smiled and began to change into her dress.

* * *

After they reached the bar Matsumoto had a couple of drinks and began to talk to everyone in the room.

I watched silently as Hisana just sat in her chair quietly while Matsumoto drank and drank and drank some more.

"Come on Hisana!! Take some sa-ke!" Matsumoto slurred as she shoved a cup into her hands.

Clearly Matsumoto was drunk. Hisana put the cup down and sighed she could tell that it was going to be a long day.

"Y-You promised one d-drink" Matsumoto said sloppily as she lifted the cup and began to drink from it.

"Matsumoto you can't drink anymore!" Hisana said taking the drink from her hands.

"Besides it's about time for me to leave, I don't want to be late for my first training session" Hisana explained.

"You can't leave until you have at least one drink" Matsumoto said blocking the door.

"But I have to!" Hisana said trying to get past her.

Matsumoto grabbed Hisana and suffocated her in her chest. "Take a drink and you can leave" Matsumoto sang, the drinks were definitely getting to her.

"Alright fine one drink" Hisana gave in, her words only came out as muffled noises since she was being suffocated by a pair of inhumanly sized breasts.

Hisana walked back to the table and picked up the cup. She gazed unwillingly into the cup and took a deep breath.

Matsumoto was watching intently as Hisana cautiously brought the cup to her mouth.

Hisana closed her eyes and quickly gulped down all the sake in the cup, something that you aren't suppose to do and that was something Hisana obviously didn't know.

I watched in horror as Hisana's face turned pink and she began to hiccup and sway back and fourth.

'_Oh no, Hisana is drunk….from one cup!'_ I thought to myself. I inwardly cursed myself for letting this happen because I now had the ability to do something about it.

"WHOOO!! YOU GO HISANA!!" Matsumoto yelled out as she picked up another cup if sake.

A very drunk Matsumoto still continued drinking while a drunken Hisana passed out and was lying on the table.

I couldn't believe this. Hisana was drunk and was surely going to miss her first practice session.

"Hisana wake up!" I called to her while trying to shake her but my hands passed though as usual.

I didn't know why I continued trying to wake her up when I knew in my mind she wasn't going to. It was probably because I felt somewhat responsible for what had just happened.

It was technically my fault for why this all happened in the first place. Now I knew what it meant when Miyako told me to think about how it was going to affect the future.

But how was I supposed to know all of this was going to happen? I had no idea that Hisana could get drunk of off one cup of sake.

'_Mabey I should ask nii-sama more about her before I start changing things' _I thought to myself while watching a now passed out Matsumoto and Hisana lying very drunk on the table.

Hours had passed and it was dark outside by the time Hisana awoke.

The bar was practically empty and sat there dazed and confused.

"What the.......did I pass out?" Hisana whispered as she held her head and ran her fingers though her hair.

Hisana sat there for a few minutes trying to get back to her senses when she finally realized the time.

"Oh my gosh! It's already dark! I'm late!" she yelled while shaking Matsumoto.

"Matsumoto get up!" Hisana called still shaking her.

"What is it Hisana?" Matsumoto said with her eyes still closed and her voice still sounded half drunk.

"I'm late! We have to leave now" she said grabbing a still partially drunk Matsumoto and leaning her on her shoulder.

"I guess I will take you home first" Hisana said while pulling her passed out body out of the bar.

Matsumoto seemed pretty heavy for Hisana to carry and by the time Hisana actually got Matsumoto to her house it had been a whole other hour.

She left Matsumoto on her couch in her house and then began to make her way to the training grounds.

* * *

Hisana ran as fast as she could with me right behind her to the training grounds. She had a worried expression on her face when she reached the grounds.

"He's not here" Hisana said disappointed. She looked around for a while and realized that he indeed had left.

"I don't blame him….I'm hours late" Hisana said softly.

I felt so bad for letting this happen. I wanted to find nii-sama and tell him that it wasn't Hisana's fault, that I was the reason that all of this happened.

Then I heard the voice in my head again.

'_This was suppose to be my first day training with him and I stood him up…I wonder what he thinks of me now? This was definitely not the first impression that I wanted'._

* * *

I awoke and I couldn't believe that just happened.

I just ruined nii-sama's first impression of his future wife! This was absolutely horrible. Then I wondered what I could change to make it better, or would I changing something again make it even worse.

I was beginning to think that this whole thing Miyako told me about was just setting me up to screw Hisana's life up.

I needed to have a good talk with her to figure out just how in the world I could change something without messing anything up.

* * *

**Alright that's the end of that chapter, hoped you liked it!! :D**


	9. Broken Diary

**Alright here is the next chapter I hope you guys like it :D**

* * *

I awoke the next morning knowing that I needed to have a talk with Miyako. I needed to ask her just how I was supposed to know every little thing that could affect the future if I changed something.

I got out of my bed and took a long look at the diary. I sighed as I went over to it and picked it up.

'_Just what were you thinking when you made this?'_ I thought to myself as I opened it and began to flip through the pages.

Her whole life was in that book and I had the overwhelming power to do anything with it. I still wondered why she would make the diary for me out of all people, why not her husband? He would definitely love something like this.

Speaking of nii-sama, I had still yet to tell him about the diary. I felt sort of bad that I was keeping this from him; he had every right to the diary as I did.

But still it wouldn't matter because when he touched it nothing would happen. I wondered if he could even see the words that were written after I saw the entry.

I left my room and headed down to the dining hall for breakfast. There is where I decided to test just how far my changing actually went.

I entered the room and took my seat across from my brother. He still had that same stoic, cold expression glued to his face.

"Good morning nii-sama" I said respectfully as I bowed slightly. He simply nodded to me as our food was served.

I began to eat slowly wondering if I should bring it up again. I knew I had to ask eventually so I just decided to get it over with.

"Please forgive me for bringing this up again but May I ask you a question" I said quickly trying not to look him in his eyes.

"Go on, Rukia" he replied in the same nonchalant tone he always used with me.

"Did Hisana make a good first impression?" I asked curious to see his answer. I practically held my breath while waiting for him to reply.

He pondered this for a bit, the room became shrouded with silence until he finally began to answer me.

"I suppose it is how you would look at it, our first training session together she missed" he began while taking a sip of tea.

I allowed myself to breathe again. So what I changed not only affected what was written or what happened to her but it also affected everyone's memories about it.

That was one strong diary; it could change everyone's image of Hisana. Then I realized something, maybe before I entered the next entry I should have an idea what it is about before hand so I could think about how it would affect it.

Of course I didn't know what was going to happen but someone else did, a certain busty lieutenant that I had yet to speak to.

"May I be excused nii-sama?" I asked. I hardly touched my food; I was to caught up in the diary that I had no time.

He nodded once more as I bowed slightly again and I half ran out of the room. I had to ask lieutenant Matsumoto about what happened after she and Hisana got drunk so I knew what was coming and just how to stop it in advance.

* * *

I quickly made my way to the tenth division barracks so I could speak to her. I practically ran the whole way until I saw the captain's office.

I knocked on the door a couple of times hoping she would come to the door.

"Caaaaaptain, someone's at the door" I heard her say from inside the room.

"Get the door Matsumoto I'm busy" I heard him respond.

"But captain I don't feel like getting up" she wined lazily.

"Matsumoto you never do anything, your to lazy" he responded icily.

"But caaaaaaptain" she continued to drag out his title.

"Matsumoto get the door or you have double paperwork" he said annoyed.

Then I heard Matsumoto immediately get up and head for the door. She opened the door and I was about to say something bus she beat me to it.

"Oh, I never see you around here, hmmm are you going on a date with my captain?" Matsumoto asked placing a finger on her chin.

Before I could answer she turned around and called to her captain.

"Caaaaaptain do you have a date?" she yelled into the office. I couldn't hear what he said to her but whatever he said made Matsumoto say "Caaaaptain you're so mean!! How could you not know you had a date!"

"Actually I'm not here for a date, I'm here to speak to you lieutenant Matsumoto" I said.

She turned back to me with a curious look on her face. "It's for me captain! I will be back later!!" she called as she closed the door before he could respond.

All I could hear was him yell "MATSUMOTO!!!".

"Whoo, thanks for getting me out of there, my captain was going to make me do paper work" Matsumoto said happily.

"I came to ask you some questions lieutenant Matsumoto" I said sternly.

"I swear I didn't do it! Well I mean I was drunk so it doesn't matter…but please don't tell" Matsumoto said quickly.

"Not questions like that…besides I don't even know what you're talking about" Rukia said to her.

"Oh…well just forget about that then" Matsumoto said laughing nervously.

"I wanted to know something about my sister, Hisana" I finally got to say.

Matsumoto looked confused for a few moments until she let out a long sigh. "You mean captain Kuchiki's late wife…and one of my good friends" Matsumoto said.

"I would like to know what happened after you two got drunk that day where she had her first training session" I said.

Matsumoto paused for a few seconds and lifted a finger to her chin. She looked like she was thinking deeply.

"Hmmmm, well I believe that she wanted to avoid him for a while, you know how she can be, all nervous" Matsumoto answered.

That was all I needed to know to get the next entry started.

"Thank you lieutenant Matsumoto" I said now running back down the hall. Matsumoto had a puzzled look on her face but she let it go and went back into the room.

I now knew the information that I needed. Since Hisana was too nervous to talk to him after that I should change it so that she just mustered up all her courage and spoke to him again.

But how would this affect the future? Would she be so nervous that she acted not like herself?

Sighing I decided to take this up with Miyako. I went back to my room and grabbed the diary while beginning to look for her.

I left my room only to hear someone calling to me. I turned around to see it was a shinigami.

"Kuchiki-san, captain Ukitake requests you" the shinigami called to me while I was starting to find her room.

"He needs you know, some hollows have been seen and we need you to help" he continued.

"Understood" I called back as I stopped my searching and followed the shinigami over to where the commotion was.

'_The diary is going to have to wait' _I thought as I put the book in my robes and placed my hand on Sode no Shirayuki.

* * *

There was just a couple of hollow attacking in Rukongai that we had to take care of, nothing major until huge hollows showed up.

We were fighting on the outskirts of Rukongai in a forest type place with lots of trees.

I had to be careful though, I still had the diary in my robes and I didn't want it to get damaged.

Even though they weren't that tough I still had to keep my guard up. One of the hollows tried to swing at me but I swiftly dodged it and decided to finish it up.

'"Dance, Sode no Shirayuki" I released my sword as the hollows stared in awe at the most beautiful sword in all of soul society.

"You think that puny thing will work!?" the hollow bellowed while charging for me.

The ground shook violently with each of his enormous steps as he came towards me.

"Some no mai Tsukishiro!" I called out as a huge pillar of ice engulfed the hollow encasing him in a beautiful ice structure.

I sighed and whipped some sweat from my forehead when another shinigami called "Kuchiki look out!!".

I quickly turned to see a hollow right behind me, I picked up my sword and held it out in front of me, one of my hands was on the handle while the other was at the end of the blade.

I quickly blocked the attack but the force of it sent my flying backwards. I landed perfectly fine on the tree with both my feet planted firmly.

I then pushed off the tree at amazing speed and slashed the hollow right through its head, killing it.

It was then that I realized that during the time I was being hit the diary had fallen out of my robes.

I quickly dashed for it. I jumped from tree to tree all the way down to the spot that it had fallen to.

Then I saw another hollow charging for that same spot going for a shinigami that was behind it.

"Tsugi no mai hakuren!" I called out as a huge wave of ice blasted from where I was, crashing through trees and anything in its way until it hit the hollow and killed it.

I sighed again. Finally the diary was safe, I jumped down to where it was and picked it up now holding it firmly in my hands, I placed it back in my robes where it would be safe.

"They're finished" one shinigami called out as we all began to walk away. It was a shame no one noticed that one hollow that had been hiding the whole time waiting to make his strike.

As soon as I turned my back I heard a few yells from other shinigami. Startled, I turned around only to be hit at amazing speed right in my stomach crashing through a tree.

It took me a while to recuperate. I took a couple deep breaths and then noticed the blood seeping through my clothing.

I held my wound with my hand and picked up my sword with the other hand. I charged for the hollow and in one fell swoop killed it with a blow to its head.

I felt very accomplished aside from the gaping wound that had my stomach bleeding badly.

"Kuchiki-san are you alright?" one of the shinigami called to me while rushing to my side.

"I'm fine" I replied trying not to show the pain in my voice.

"Wow it's a good thing the wound isn't that deep, that book you had saved you" he said.

"What are you talking about?" I said looking down. I did put the diary in my robes and it must have slid down to where my stomach was when I got hit.

The diary seemed to take a lot of the impact, it protected me. That was one tough diary; I pulled it out of my robes and then saw the real damage.

The diary was bent very badly and some pages were poking out of it. The binding was becoming unraveled as well; the diary was basically falling apart.

"Let's get you back" another shinigami said while he placed my arm over his neck and helped me walk.

I couldn't believe it. The diary was practically broken, would it work? Was I missing any pages? I didn't know what to think.

All I knew was that if the diary was messed up I would be devastated, I would have lost my chance to bring my sister back.

* * *

**Alright that was the chapter, I really hoped you liked it :D**


	10. The Missing Pages

**I am so sorry guys for the extreemly late update, you see my internet wasn't working for a while so I was hoping to get a laptop but that didn't work out. So one day I just turned on my computer and whaddaya know, my internet was on. Not sure how long it will last but lets hope it will for a long time. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing I love you guys! Hope you like this chapter.**

* * *

I laid in the fourth division infirmary quietly as captain Unohana changed my bandages with fresh new ones.

"You are very lucky Rukia" Unohana said in a soft tone as her small hands began to tear of my old bandages which were stained red from my wound.

I stayed silent not knowing how to respond. I watched her as she continued to remove each bandage and put it aside until my whole stomach was showing as well as the real damage.

"Your wound is very deep,but not as deep as it could have been if the book you were holding wasn't protecting you" she continued as she took out a new pack of bandages and some whipes.

"Is the book here?" I asked while wincing in pain from the alcohol of the whipes touching my damaged flesh.

"Yes, I placed it on the tabel….though it suffered a great deal of damage" she replied while continueing to clean my wound.

I stayed silent as my eyes gazed over to the diary that was lying on a tabel near me. Unohana was right, the diary had taken most of the blow and hadent gotten out unscathed.

The whole diary was bent very badly, so badly that it seemed like it was going to break in two. The binding that kept all of the pages together was unraveled and because of this pages were sticking out of every place imaginable.

I was quickly saddened to see this. The diary was made long ago and was kept in tact all these years and I ruin it in one day.

But in all I was very greatful for the diary as well, it protected me from being badly injured.

Soon Unohana began to place the new bandages over my wound and made sure they were tight and secure.

"Alright, you are welcome to leave now but take it easy, your wounds are still not completely healed" Unohana instructed as she began to walk towards the door.

"Thank you captain Unohana" I responded as I moved my legs to the side of the bed where they dangled for a while.

"Oh and your brother came to visit you last night, you were sleeping but he seemed very concerned" she said while pausing at the door.

"N-Nii-sama, visited?" I said in absolute shock. I never thought that he would actually visit or even care if I was injured……this was very odd.

"I had never seen him so concerned since his wife- Unohana stopped mid-sentence and gave me a small smile.

"My apologies I didn't mean to bring that up" she said still with that unbareable smile plastered to her face.

"No its alright….you knew her?" I asked while now placing both of my feet onto the cold floor.

It took me a while to get used to the sharp pain I felt on my stomach, it was a lot worse when I was standing or moving in contrast to its dornmant feeling when I was sitting.

"Yes I did, she was a very lovely woman and I can see why your brother loved her so much,…… you look just like her" Unohana said almost in a whisper.

I smiled slightly. I knew I looked just like her, we were practically twins, but it was always nice to hear.

"I should get going, take care" she said before exiting the room leaving me alone to my thoughts.

I slowly walked over to the tabel that the diary laid on. I moved my fingers over the torn book and a small sigh escaped my lips.

I hesitated to open it, because then I would see the real damage. I carefully pulled open the cover and stared at all of the pages that were completely pulled out of there correct spot.

I was careful not to touch the page directly or I would be pulled into another entry. So I would lightly move the papers aside by touching the corner of the paper all the way at the end.

I continued to move the papers away. I was happy that none of the papers were badly damaged just crumpled a bit, too bad I couldn't smooth them out.

I wasn't sure which page came first or last because all of the pages were blank except for the few that I read.

Sighing once again I decided to bring this up with Miyako along with all of the other questions I had.

I still needed to ask her how exactly certain things would change the future and now I needed to ask her how I could put the diary back in order.

I placed all of the pages back into the diary and closed it. I held it securely in my hands so that nothing else could harm it.

I had to protect this diary no matter what.

I left the fourth divisions barracks and headed over to the Kuchiki household. The trip was very long and very painful.

I had to walk slowly since running would cause me more pain than I was already feeling. It seemed like each step was like a hundred small pins poking my wound in its worst spot.

Even though It hurt so much and I probablly should have stayed in the infirmary I needed to get this done.

I wasn't about to let this wound put me on hold for all of my plans.

When I finally got to the manor I was greeted by a couple of maids who offered to carry me to my room.

"Please miss Rukia, lord Kuchiki has told us to make sure when you got here you were to be escorted to your room to rest" one of the maids informed me.

"Right and since you seem to be in pain we want to carry you to your room" the other one added.

"I am sorry but I need to find Miyako" I said trying to mask the pain in my voice.

"We are sorry but lord Kuchiki will be angered if he finds that you have returned home and arent resting" the first maid said with a hint of nervousness in her voice.

"I will rest as soon as you bring me to Miyako" I said sternly hoping that it would work and they would bring me to her.

The two maids looked at each other, each had a worried expression. Finally the second maid nodded and said "Alright, follow us".

The two maids lead me through all of the twists and turns of the manor and finally to the kitchen area where I could spot Miyako working on some type of dish.

"Miyako, miss Rukia needs to speak to you" the first maid called out.

Miyako looked up and stopped what she was doing. She walked quickly over to us and nodded to the other maids which indicated for them to leave.

After they left Miyako pulled me into the kicthen and looked around to make sure that no body was listening.

"Is this about the diary Rukia-san?" she asked immideatly as she continued to work on the dish she was prepareing.

"Yes it is" I said while placing the diary on the tabel next to what she was working on.

She stopped working and picked up the diary. I could see her eyes widen at the damage and her fingers tracing all of the torn spots.

She opened it and saw that all of the pages were pulled out and out of order.

"Is there any way to put it back in order?" I asked hoping that there was and that I didn't ruin the entire diary.

"I need all of the pages first" Miyako said, her tone getting serious.

"All of the pages? What do you mean, they are right there" I said as I could feel myself grow nervous.

"Some pages are missing" she replied while opening the diary and flipping through the pages that were still stuck in the diary like they were suppose to.

As I watched her flip through the pages I noticed what she was talking about, there were spots in-between the pages that were still in tact that seemed to be missing a couple of pages.

'_That must mean some pages are still back at the site were the hollows appeared'_ I thought to myself.

At that point I knew that if I didn't go back to get them now then I wouldn't ever see those pages again.

I quickly grabbed the diary from Miyako's hands and started to run out the door but as soon as I started to move my legs quickly, I felt a very bad sting in my stomach.

"Allow me to come with you Rukia-san, you need help" Miyako offered as she came near me and put my arm around her neck.

"Thank you Miyako" I responded as we worked together to get back to that spot.

* * *

It was turning dark by the time we had gotten to Rukongai and when we finally reached the site where the hollows attacked the sky had already turned from the beautiful orenge sunset to the dark black of nightime.

"Its going to be hard to find them in this time of day" Miyako said as we approached the battle scene.

I unwrapped my arm from her neck and looked around. The trees were still toppled over and there was a lot of damage done but no papers.

I began to walk towards the spot where I was hit to see if there was any trace of paper but my stomach began to sting again.

I was over exerting my body, I needed to rest but if I did I may not find them the next day. I had to get this done as soon as possible.

"Rukia-san, why don't you rest and I will continue searching" Miyako offered with a small smile.

"Im fine Miyako, don't worry about me" I replied while wincing right after.

"I insist Rukia-san, we cant have your wounds re-opened" Miyako replied.

I was silent for a few moments trying to concentrate on bearing the pain I was feeling.

"A-Are you sure?" I asked while moving my hand to my stomach to apply some pressure.

"Of course I am, now you rest by that tree and I will look" Miyako ordered.

I obeyed and carefully sat down, leanning my back against one of the trees that werent destroyed.

I began to take deep breaths and tried to get comfortable but the pain was too much. I closed my eyes and felt the cool breeze against my skin, I was sweating so the breeze cooled my body down and somewhat relaxed the pain.

I opened my eyes and saw Miyako looking around. She looked under fallen branches, rubble and rocks, she even climbed a tree in hopes of finding something.

It had to have been about an hour that I watched her look and she didn't find a single page.

"Im sorry Rukia-san but I don't see any pages" Miyako said trying to catch her breath while approaching me.

I got up slowly, trying to keep my stomach from hurting again and looked around.

"They must be here someware" I said softly. I could feel my heart sink, if I was missing pages then there was no way that I could see the rest of the diary and save my sister.

"Hey who is that?" Miyako said curiously as she pointed to a little boy who was running across the site.

"Exscuse me!" Miyako called as she grabbed my arm and began running over to him.

The small boy stopped and looked up at us. He had to be about seven years old, he had messy dark hair that went into his eyes and he was wearing an old worn out cloth that seemed to be a haori too big for him, it was tied around his waist with a sash of some sort.

"Granny says not to talk to strangers" the small boy said calmly as he backed away from us.

"He's holding something" I said to Miyako as I saw a small piece of paper sticking out from his clothing.

"Exscuse me, but what is that paper you have?" Miyako asked sweetly to him.

The boy stopped and looked curiously at her. He then pulled out the paper and showed it to us.

It was one of the diary pages, it was completely blank and a little crumpled but nothing major.

"Where did you find that?" I asked as the small body pressed the paper to his chest.

"Granny has them" he said while putting it back into his robes.

"Can you show us where granny is?" Miyako asked while smiling.

The boy nodded and began to run away in the direction of where his granny was.

Miyako and I followed him closely hoping that we would find the missing pages soon

* * *

**Hope you liked that chapter, the next one should be up soon kay :D**


	11. Dry Eyes

**Alright the next chapter is up I hope you enjoy it :D**

* * *

I followed the little boy silently as he led us further and further away from the clearing.

Of course there were still trees around as well as rocks and other things scattered around but for the most part it was pretty clear.

"You shouldn't be wandering around at this time of night" Miyako stated to the little boy who was walking home like there was nothing wrong with bringing strangers to your house.

"Granny doesn't know I left so shhhh" he replied while placing a finger to his lips to emphasize his shhhh.

"Why did you leave?" Miyako questioned while trying to make her way around a huge rock that was blocking our path.

"I was bored" he said while he impressively climbed over the rock and continued forward.

Everyone was silent after that; you could only hear the sound of the leaves rustling in the wind.

"That's my house!" he pointed out to us. It was a small poorly constructed house camouflaged in-between many tall trees.

He then began to run towards the house while Miyako and I continued to walk to it trying to asses the situation.

"You don't think she ruined the papers do you?" Miyako asked worriedly as she looked ahead at the small house.

"Calm down Miyako, I don't think she did anything with them" I replied. I could feel my stomach start to hurt again as I continued onward to the house that now had a dim light shining from one of its windows.

"What if she doesn't want to give them back?" Miyako then asked as we reached the house.

"Then we will just have to take them back" I replied then while wincing softly at a sharp pain that struck my stomach once again.

Miyako pushed open the door and walked inside the two roomed house. The first room had nothing but a wood carved table and two chairs, along with an iron pot and some log.

I walked in after Miyako and could see the little boy's shadow from the other room. A candle was placed center table and the light wasn't great but sufficient enough so we could get the job done.

'Granny' must have been the elderly woman that was sitting at the table in one of the wood carved chairs.

She had an old faded Kimono on and looked very frail. Her hair was white and curly and pulled back into a tiny ponytail.

Her eyes where squinted so you could barely tell who she was looking at or if she was asleep or awake.

Her face had a few wrinkles in it but not that many, she must not be too old.

Once I entered the room and came into her sight the first thing to escape her small old lips where "H-Hisana?".

I stopped right in my tracks and directed my gaze to this old woman. '_So she knew her too? Just how many people know my sister?' _I thought to myself.

"Finally, after all these years you decide to visit! I have a few things to tell you Hisana" The woman began.

"I'm not Hisana" I interrupted her rambling. The woman looked at me with a curious look; it was like she was examining me under a microscope.

"Hisana. Of course that's you! I'm too old for your jokes" The woman continued as she smiled softly.

"Hisana is my older sister….I am Rukia" I explained to her as her smile faded and she slowly got up out of her chair.

She walked with a limp that could be easily recognized and she was pretty slow as well. When she finally reached me she opened her eyes wide to reveal a pair of stunning green eyes.

She looked at me carefully; her nose was barely away from mine. I could feel her green eyes analyzing ever inch of my face.

"Dear lord, it really isn't you Hisana" she finally said while moving from my face and returning to her chair.

"She always used to talk about you Rukia, though I never thought I would actually meet you. I am happy that she finally found you, you tell her to come visit old granny Aya.

I could see Miyako's face sadden from the corner of my eye as Granny Aya went on about how she wanted to see Hisana.

"How is she these days? I haven't seen her since she came back here so many years ago on one of her trips to find you. Though she did look a little sick that day, hmmm how's her husband? She would talk about him a lot too…..She went on and on for about a good ten minutes.

In those ten minutes I was deciding on how I was going to tell her that she never got to find me, that I barely know my sister, that her husband is a widow and that his wife is dead.

"Oh and could you also tell her she needs to meet Fumio, I brought him into my home when I found him all alone on the streets of Rukongai, I know she will like him, you know she is very good with kids- she was interrupted by my sudden outburst "Hisana isn't here".

Granny Aya looked at me with another confused look. She then sighed and said "Really I am too old for you youngster's jokes".

"It isn't a joke Granny Aya, Hisana is……..gone" It was hard for me to say these words. The last thing I wanted to do was to tell someone there friend was dead.

"What do you mean gone?" Granny Aya asked as she widened her eyes once more.

"She is, dead" I finished. For some reason I kept my eyes glued to hers, I watched her slowly process the information I had just given her.

"D-Dead?" she stuttered as her eyes then went back to there original state and her face fell from its cherry old smile to a sad old frown.

"Good lord…..I don't, I….I am so sorry, I was talking about her like she was alive" granny Aya apologized.

"Its okay, I actually came here because you have something that I need" I said to her.

I really wanted to get out of that house as fast as I could, I didn't want to see the old woman break down and cry.

"Fumio told us that you had collected some blank pieces of paper the other day and we need them back, you see we lost them and they are very important" I explained to her.

"Blank pieces of paper?" she said. I could see her trying to hold back her tears.

"Yes, I know it may sound weird but we really need them" I told her.

The woman nodded and got up from her chair. She limped over into the next room and I could hear her rummage through some things.

I turned to Miyako who was standing near the door, her eyes watery.

"Miyako?" I said wondering why she was on the brink of crying.

"I'm sorry, I just….miss her and to hear all of that it just, brought back memories" she said while wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

I felt very odd at that moment. I could hear granny Aya's silent weeps from the other room and I could see the tears about to fall out of Miyako's eyes, but me; my eyes were dry.

You'd think me being her sister I would have shed the most tears or at least second most to Nii-sama.

It was just that I found it hard to cry for someone I didn't know. The only things I knew where the things people told me and the things I learned from the diary.

I could only wonder what it must have been like to actually know her. It seemed like everybody she knew had something good to say about her and could shed at least one tear for her.

But I, her own sister, the person she searched endlessly for had not even a speck of water in her eyes.

Maybe when I made Hisana live then I would have the pleasure of knowing her, and maybe then there would be no need for tears.

When she came back from the room she had a good amount of pages in her hands.

I could see that her cheeks where wet from crying. She had put on a smile probably because she didn't want me to cry or feel bad.

Miyako came forward and took the papers from granny Aya's hands.

"Thank you so much" Miyako said sweetly as she held the papers firmly in her hands.

Granny Aya smiled back then directed her squinted eyes towards me.

"You know, you look just like her" she told me.

I couldn't help but smile slightly at this. It was always a nice feeling to hear it, and maybe one day see the resemblance myself.

"Make sure Fumio doesn't go out at night, it's dangerous" Miyako called as she opened the door.

"Alright, I will be sure to, Take care" Granny Aya called back to us as we left the house.

It was pitch black outside and we could barely see where we were going.

"I would stay for the night but we must get back, we don't want to worry everyone" Miyako said while walking back in the direction we came from.

I could feel my stomach hurt more and more with each step I made. I would probably have to go and see captain Unohana again to make sure I was going to be okay, maybe then I could have some time to think.

"I was meaning to ask you something about the diary Miyako" I said as we approached the clearing where this whole mess happened.

"You know, I remember when Hisana was writing this" Miyako said disregarding what I just said.

She held onto the papers tighter as she continued to speak.

"I remember it like it was yesterday, when Hisana was alive" she continued as I listened silently.

"I can even remember the exact words she said, like she is here right now, saying them to me".

* * *

"_Lady Kuchiki, I have your breakfast" Miyako announced as she pulled the shoji door open and placed a bowl of warm soup in front of Hisana who was sitting at the table._

"_Thank you Miyako, and remember call me Hisana" she said softly as she put away the book she had open on the table._

"_My apologies Hisana, is it a good book?" Miyako asked as she took a spoonful of soup and began to blow it._

_The warm steam from the soup filled the air as Hisana looked at her with a curious eye._

"_The one you just put away" Miyako said in-between blows._

"_Oh, it isn't a book, it's a diary" Hisana explained as she placed it back on the table. It looked pretty worn but nothing extreme; it still had many pages that were empty._

_She opened up to the page that she had begun writing which was about the middle of the diary._

"_How long have you been writing in it?" Miyako asked as she brought the spoon over to Hisana's mouth._

_Hisana opened her mouth and slowly took the spoonful. She drank it, letting the warm liquid soothe her before she answered._

"_For as long as I can remember" was her answer. Hisana picked up the brush that she kept in the diary and began to write again._

"_I am sure a lot of people would love to read the diary of lady Kuchiki, it would make a great addition to the library for future ladies of the household to look up and get some guidance" Miyako said while taking another spoonful._

"_That is a fine idea but it isn't for that purpose" Hisana informed her as she slowly slid the brush along the paper of the diary._

"_Then what is it for?" Miyako questioned while bringing the spoon to Hisana._

_Hisana took the spoonful and enjoyed it for a few seconds before she answered Miyako._

"_It is for someone, so that person can learn something about me, so they can get to know me if they never see me" Hisana said softly._

"_So who is it for?" Miyako asked eagerly._

"_Someone very special" Hisana replied._

"_It sounds interesting…….well you should be getting to bed, you don't want lord Kuchiki to hear that you are up when you are on bed rest" Miyako said to her._

"_Of course…….Miyako, later one day I would like to tell you more about my diary….something that only you and I and one other person can know" Hisana said as she began to get up from the table._

"_I am excited to hear it" Miyako responded while leading her to her futon._

* * *

Miyako was silent for what seemed to be forever. It was like she was recalling something or trying to remember something.

All I knew was that I am definitely going to bring her back so that granny Aya, lieutenant Matsumoto, Nii-sama, Miyako and everyone else can be with her again.

That was the plan. While I am resting in the fourth division's infirmary I would have to get through as many entries as possible, I needed to do this and I needed to do it fast.

* * *

**Hope you liked that chapter! :D next one should be up pretty soon. Next chapter I will be going back to showing more diary entires so stay tuned!**


	12. Actions And Thoughts

**Hey guys, I am very sorry about the very late update, I just had a long case of writers block for this particular story. Anyways its all good now and I hope you like this chapter, thank you all for your reviews it means so much to me that some people like my story :D, enjoy.**

* * *

I lay in the fourth divisions infirmary once again as captain Unohana rebadged my wound.

I was silent as she began to clean it, which indeed hurt quite a bit and when she began to wrap the bandages around it.

"There you go, its finished" Unohana said while removing her materials from my bed and placing them on a nearby table.

"Thank you captain Unohana" I said as my eyes drifted from her chilling smile over to the door.

I was waiting for Miyako to return with the diary. When we got back she decided she would put it together while I went to the infirmary. When she was finished she would return the diary to me so I could continue seeing the entries.

"You are not allowed to leave anytime soon, I do not want you to re-open your wounds again" Unohana stated firmly as she made her way to the door.

"Yes captain Unohana" I replied even though my mind was very much distant from her words.

My mind couldn't help but keep going back to the diary and what I needed to do. Everything that has happened up to now was just reassurance that what I am going to do is the right thing.

I had to finish the diary as soon as possible and make sure that by the end of it all my sister is alive and well.

I watched as captain Unohana left the room and I continued to stare at the door.

I sighed and moved my vision from the door to anything it could land on. I scanned the whole room, every object that was there I traced in my mind. I needed something to pass the long wait, or maybe it seemed long because I was so anxious to see another entry.

After a few hours I began to lose hope that she was actually coming today so I decided that a good nap would do me justice.

I closed my eyes and let my mind and body relax in a void of darkness. Everything was calm while I slept, I guess I really needed some time to let all of my thoughts stop and become tranquil.

I stayed in that state for a while. My wounds didn't seem to bother me while I was like that, nothing seemed to bother me, and nothing could disturb my peaceful slumber.

"Rukia……Rukia" Miyako called while gently shaking my shoulder.

My eyes fluttered open as she spoke breaking my wonderful sleep and opening me back to the reality of things.

"I'm sorry for disturbing your sleep Rukia" Miyako whispered as I blinked a couple of times to get used to the darkness of the room.

"Sorry it took me so long….I had to go through a lot of _things_ to get it repaired" Miyako explained as she handed me the dairy.

I sat up in my bed and held it in my hands. I carefully opened it and looked at the pages that seemed as though they were never torn out in the first place.

"How did you repair this?" I questioned while closing it and protectively placing my hands over it.

"Ummm well that doesn't really matter…what matters is your rest, you should start tomorrow it's already late" Miyako responded while running her hand through her hair.

"Late?" I queried as I shifted my vision to a window that was nearby. She was right, it was pretty late.

"How long have I been asleep?" I asked another question while turning so I looked at Miyako intently.

"I'm not sure…maybe a couple of hours....but you should continue to rest" Miyako restated as she held her hand out for the diary.

"Don't worry about me Miyako, I have got enough sleep….I need to finish this diary as soon as possible" I said firmly.

Miyako nodded and smiled softly before she began to move towards the door.

"Wait Miyako" I called out to her. She turned around and looked at me curiously before walking back to my bedside.

"I have been meaning to ask you a question for some time now" I said while absentmindedly running my fingers across the cover of the diary.

"What is it?" she asked as she bent down so she was at my level.

"How am I supposed to know every little thing that can affect the future?" I inquired.

"There are millions of possible outcomes to every situation and if I change one small thing it could lead to something massive…..I don't know how I am suppose to change things without ruining something" I finished.

Miyako creased her forehead in concentration as I spoke. When I was finished she closed her eyes and began to mumble something to herself.

* * *

"_So you are saying that this is a special diary?" Miyako said as she began to fold the sheets on the futon._

"_Yes indeed" Hisana replied as she brought her warm mug to her pale lips._

"_How so?" Miyako said as she continued folding the sheets and blankets and placing them neatly over the futon._

"_Well you see….I am the direct author of this diary but in a way…..the person to whom it is dedicated to, may be an author as well" Hisana explained as she pulled her haori tighter around her small fragile body._

"_What do you mean?" Miyako responded as she finished the futon and moved to a table that was near it._

"_That person has the ability to change its events….any small change could result in a completely different reality" Hisana said as she placed her mug down and picked up the diary that was laying next to her._

"_Why would you do that?" Miyako questioned while brining a small bottle towards Hisana._

"_There are so many things in my life that I wished I could change…..so I decided that maybe someone that I love could change it for me….since I chose this person's fate by leaving them….it is only right that this person chooses mine" Hisana explicated._

"_I see…..but how would one know if the change will have a positive or negative effect?" Miyako asked as she poured the liquid in the bottle into Hisana's empty mug._

"_I am aware that there are millions of different ways one small change could play out…but if you want it to play in your favor you must not only change the persons actions but the persons thoughts as well" Hisana said while taking the mug from Miyako and staring into the liquid._

"_Thoughts?" Miyako asked as she sat next to Hisana and looked at her eager for her to continue._

"_Thoughts effect actions correct?" Hisana stated still staring into the cup that had yet made its way to her lips._

"_Yes that is true" Miyako agreed._

"_Then if you change what the person thinks then there actions can play out in your favor" Hisana said softly._

"_I'm still not following" Miyako admitted._

_Hisana smiled wearily at Miyako before continuing to explain herself._

"_For example if you change something which makes a person afraid to talk to someone else because they missed a meeting or something, you can change there thoughts about the situation and make them think that they should meet them to apologize" Hisana said._

"_Hmmm, that is very interesting….Hisana-sama….how did you construct- Miyako was cut off by a violent cough from Hisana._

"_Hisana-sama, are you okay?" Miyako asked while placing a hand on her shoulder._

_Hisana's body shook violently as she continued to cough. When it finally stopped she cleared her throat and smiled gently at Miyako._

"_I am fine Miyako, please do not worry yourself" Hisana replied her voice was a little hoarse._

"_You must drink your medicine" Miyako said while brining the cup that was still in Hisana's hands to her mouth._

_Hisana drank slowly until the whole cup was finished._

"_Miyako….please remember my words….so that one day you can explain it to the person that truly needs to know" Hisana whispered._

_Miyako nodded as she began to help Hisana move over to the futon._

* * *

Miyako finally opened her eyes after a long time and looked at me seriously.

"If you want it to play in your favor you must not only change the person's actions but the person's thoughts as well" Miyako said softly.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked while looking at Miyako's more than tired expression.

"Well your actions are effected by your thoughts so if you change what the person thinks about there actions it can play out in your favor" Miyako explained.

I thought about this for a moment. It did seem to make sense, if I could make Hisana think that she should go an apologize I would have fixed the whole mess.

"Thank you Miyako, I understand now" I said as she smiled lightly at me.

'_She figured it out faster than I did'_ Miyako thought to herself before getting up and moving towards the door.

"Please do not stay up too late, you need your rest" Miyako reminded her as she opened the door.

I nodded and watched her leave and the door click shut. I placed the diary on my lap and took a deep breath.

I opened up to the page that I stopped at and touched the next entry and everything went black.

* * *

I awoke once again in the shinigami academy. Tons and tons of people were running through the halls to make it to there next classes and Hisana was one of them.

She ran quickly down the hall past other people and into the classroom. I followed her, just simply moving through the people that were in my way rather than around them.

She sat all the way in the back of the classroom away from most of the other students. If I learned anything from these entries it was that Hisana liked being alone.

I watched as she sat quietly just fiddling with her fingers in her lap as all the other soon to be shinigami conversed with each other.

"Hisaaaaaaanaaaa!!!" Matsumoto called as she entered the classroom and plopped into the seat next to her.

"Good Morning Matsumoto….how are you feeling?" Hisana asked softly.

"Just fine….I cannot believe you got drunk from one cup!" she exclaimed while flipping her golden blond hair behind her shoulders.

"Drinking just isn't my thing I guess" Hisana replied with a small smile.

"You aren't mad at me are you?" Matsumoto asked worriedly.

"No…I'm not, I was the one who promised that I would go out with you" Hisana replied.

"Thank goodness! I wouldn't want you hating me" Matsumoto said while leaning back in her chair.

"Well at least you can go to your next meeting right" Matsumoto said happily while looking at Hisana.

"Umm I don't think I want to see him…..he probably doesn't want to see me either" Hisana admitted with a sigh.

"Hmmm, that is a problem…..but hey who needs him! I can teach you great kidou" Matsumoto said triumphantly.

"R-Right" Hisana said meekly as Matsumoto began to speak about how much she could teach Hisana.

'_I know what thoughts I am going to change'_ I thought to myself as I continued to watch Matusmoto go on and on about kidou to Hisana.

* * *

"It is pretty late captain Kuchiki, she may be asleep" captain Unohana said as she and Byakuya approached my room.

"I am aware of that" he said calmly as Unohana opened the door.

"I assume your visit won't be long which is good because she needs her rest" Unohana stated before opening the door for him.

Byakuya nodded to her and entered the room. He quietly approached the sleeping shinigami.

He stopped once he was at my bedside. I was sleeping with the diary open on my lap and my hand touching the page.

'_What is that?'_ he thought to himself as he observed the book that was lying on my lap.

"The…diary?" he said to himself quietly as he gently moved the diary from under my limp hands and closed it.

He examined the diary, there was still nothing special about it, just a worn out old book with no writing.

He began to skim through the pages once more, he wasn't hopeful in finding anything but he was a little concerned as to why his sister would read something with no words.

He stopped skimming at a page that was filled with words. His eyes widened as he looked through the other pages that were filled.

"Just what is going on?" he said a little louder this time as he began to leave the room with the diary in hand.

* * *

**I hope that chapter was good to you guys :D next chap shouldn't take as long to post as this one kay!**


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